Los Angeles – May 27, 2004

Crack of dawn flight… No cell-phone. I arrived at LAX from New York on May 27th, nervous that it would be nearly impossible to find Roya in one of the largest airports in the country, especially since she was coming in off an international flight from Tokyo. I had heard only once from here since her trip to Japan began 10 days prior, so I was really not so sure that our actual reunion in Los Angeles would go off as planned.

After stretching my legs and taking the inevitable post-flight pee-stop, I dug deep into my pockets and pulled out some quarters to call Little Miss Hatsumomo on her cell phone that I had prayed she had charged up and ready to go.
I had enough luggage to hunker me down, and I actually broke a sweat as I moved from one broken pay phone to the next. It turned out that none of the pay phones in the entire airport terminal accepted coins! I was sure that it was an absolute conspiracy. Here I was flying in from New York City to meet a friend who was coming in all the way from Japan to see one of the opening nights of the brand-new Madonna tour which started in just a few hours, and naturally, she had the tickets!

Luckily, when I got out of my terminal, Roya was already waiting for me! She was all smiles, and not the least bit fatigued, as one might expect after coming off a 14-hour flight! We grabbed our things, hopped right onto the AVIS rent-a-car tram, and proceeded to pick up our hot-ass car, a small little silver sports gem that was a lot more chi-chi than we ever expected!

To continue reading Bijou Clochard‘s review please click on the Full Article link below.

Next stop was our hotel… Located in terribly exciting enclave of El Segundo, the Doubletree Inn was, again, a lot better than what we had anticipated from an Expedia cheapo reservation. Of course, Michele and I par-took-eth in their warm cookie ritual before heading to our room to unpack. But like most of the trip, there was no rest for the weary. We proceeded to hop back into the car for a drive down the coast and a much-needed lunch at the Hermosa Beach Pier. Then, after a quick stroll through some of the shops, and much conversation, we headed back to the hotel to rest and peruse through Roya’s many souvenirs from the Orient.

The timing was near… Michele had been up for 36 hours or some such aberration of sanity, but we had to get dolled up for the third and final Los Angeles date of Madonna’s RE-INVENTION TOUR at the Forum of Inglewood. Madge had just postponed her second show due to illness, so there was reason to be worried, but by the time we got to the venue, it was obvious from the lack of parking that the show was about to go on as planned! We posed for a few pictures outside the stadium after spending a cool $20 spot on parking, and then ventured inside to meander through the hordes of concertgoers and Madonna-related paraphernalia at hand. Madonna’s current tour is an ultimate fan’s dream – as not only does she dole out the hits on stage – one right after another – but the merchandise available for sale revisits each and every previous Madonna tour with “vintage” interpretations of old images and tour design elements. I opted for a RE-INVENTION tourbook and grabbed a bunch of promo postcards before Roya and I took to our seats.

The Forum is not the largest stadium ever built, and thank God! Normally, Madonna and camp would have hightailed it over to the Staples Center for her concert, but due to the Lakers’ stance in the NBA finals, the venue was already in use. So, Maddy fans were relegated to the much more intimate Great Western Forum, where the seats that Michele had gotten for us were close enough even though they were still completely opposite the stage across the entire floor section.

We waited for what seemed like an eternity for the show to start, and for the rest of the Madonna revelers to get to their seats. (Meanwhile, I certainly took the opportunity to have a raspberry mojito.) When the beginning of the show abruptly occurred around 8:40, there were many ticket-holders scurrying to find their places in almost pitch-darkness. But that was hardly a concern of mine. You see, I am a GIGANTIC Madonna-holic, so once “The Beast Within” started its seduction, my eyes and ears were glued for the next two-hours to the activities at hand.

Throughout the months leading up to the concert, I had made a point NOT to spoil my first RE-INVENTION tour experience by reading anything about the production prior to the show. It was not an easy task in this day of Internet instant gratification, I can assure you, but I safely avoided sussing out what the set-list would entail, or even what any of Madonna’s costumes would look like, and I must say I am VERY proud of myself for accomplishing this major feat of will power. The haunting opening track “The Beast Within” (a reading from the New Testament book of Revelations which Madonna has been toying with since a 1990 remix of “Justify My Love”) was also used in 2003’s “X-Static Process” exhibit at Deitch Projects in New York. (The exhibit is currently touring the European gallery circuit as I write this.) Set to the domineering Madonna vocal track and minimalist musical accompaniment are video images of Madonna posing for her 2003 W Magazine photo shoot by maverick photographer Steven Klein. Klein, who also lensed the photos for the exquisite RE-INVENTION tourbook, had filmed the footage for the aforementioned gallery showing, but here, reedited again in the same jittery fashion as in the traveling exhibit, the enlarged images are more powerful and daunting than ever.

Mesmerized already by the freaky invocation which opened the show, the crowd around us was finally lifted from their trance once the opening strains of the mega-hit “Vogue” were heard, and Madonna herself appeared from within the stage tangled in one of her now famous tantric yoga poses. The dramatic journey of the night had now officially begun!

One thing that amazed me throughout this entire show was that Madonna looked and sounded great! She might have been wearing a brace on her left knee, and she may have gotten some prerecorded help in the electro-vocoder moments of “Nobody Knows Me” and “Die Another Day,” but for the most part, she was a true beauty to behold, singing live and sounding better-than-ever!

The amazing exuberance of “Vogue,” complete with Marie Antoinette-period back-up dancers, elaborate beaded costumes, innovative gymnastic choreography, and multidimensional video imagery created the overall illusion of a milieu that was literally moving upside-down, sideways, and diagonal all at the same time. Spectacular is a word that easily comes to mind.

“Nobody Knows Me,” an album track from AMERICAN LIFE was next. The ultra-detailed hysteria of “Vogue” was thrown out the window, in favor of a more sleek and simple approach. The lyrics of the song appeared in the background and scrolled across the stage as Madonna herself scrolled along a conveyor belt stationed toward the front of the stage. Much like the flying acrobatics of the 2001 DROWNED WORLD TOUR would later be referenced during the new “Bedtime Story” remix video, the hydraulics of the conveyor belt certainly are a reminder of the dynamic 1987 WHO’S THAT GIRL TOUR.

The techno-ballad “Frozen” was next. Madonna, still dressed in her gold-baubled corset from “Vogue,” sang the hell out of the maudlin song as images of two hunky nude men first wrestled, then subsequently made out with each other. I’m still trying to figure out the correlation on that one…

Madonna reappeared to the stage just moments after the ending of 1998’s “Frozen” for her blockbuster in-your-face “American Life” statement. Amid helicopter sounds, a brigade of camouflage-clad dancers, and a series of jaw-dropping sequences from her previously banned “American Life” video, Madonna and her troop braved the crowds and traipsed out over the audience onto a V-shaped catwalk that appeared out of nowhere. The anti-violence/ anti-war sentiment was obvious, as it would become many more times throughout the evening, but the message was muddled by the tacky Halloween costume parade of burqa-festooned models, short-skirted nuns, and turban-wearing “Arabs.” When the time-clock squared off at 00:00, we were treated to the now infamous image of “look-a-like President Bush” giving “look-a-like Saddam Hussein” a kiss on the cheek, and although the shock from the audience was palpable, it probably wasn’t as artistically unsettling as she had hoped for. Even though Madonna certainly was being brave by standing up for what she believes in, what the majority of the audience really wanted were a parade of more celebratory hits…

That wish was soon fulfilled in the form of the 1-2-3 punch of “Express Yourself,” “Burning Up,” and “Material Girl.” Not knowing the set-list beforehand, I was so elated to hear the opening electronic bleeps and burps of what I knew to be the dance-reworking of “Express Yourself,” but I was even more titillated by the fact that M changed the famous opening lines to “C’Mon BOYS, do you believe in love,” instead of “C’Mon GIRLS.” (She obviously knows her audience.) The military rifle-maneuvers of “Express Yourself” were hot-to-trot; the electric guitar madness courtesy of Lady Madonna during one of my favorites, “Burning Up,” were even hotter. It was strange to see her fully committing to a song she swore – even up until a year ago – that she would never perform… which made her inclusion of “Material Girl” even more baffling. The Material-Girl-turned-Spiritual-Mom has repeatedly poo-poo’ed the song publicly throughout the years and has stated how no one ever understood the irony of that song when she first recorded it way back in 1985, much to her chagrin. During the RE-INVENTION performance, she apologized if she were to suddenly forget some of the lyrics, but keen Madonna fans like me know she was firmly placing her tongue inside her cheek when she made that terribly scripted statement.

The show was a complete cavalcade of the senses from beginning to end, and at times, it was very difficult to see what was going on, and take it all in. Madonna was clearly pulling every trick out of the book for this one! Such was the case when Madonna exited out of her army fatigues for a costume change during the “Hollywood” interlude. I was particularly looking forward to Madonna’s rendition of the song while on the Los Angeles stop of her current tour, and I was sadly disappointed when she chose not to sing the song at all. Instead, we were treated to a series of mini-performances by a professional skateboarder, a fire-twirler, an amazing tap-dancer in a white tuxedo, and a powerhouse breakdancer in a top hat. The highlight of this mishmash was the traditional Hindu dancing by a gorgeous gold-bangled “Indian” hot-footer. Who would have known that Dougee would have been so prescient when he came up with his “Everybody comes to Bollywood” lyrics well over a year ago.

Madonna’s circus-themed cabaret sequence was next. Dressed in another sumptuous corset and a beaded headband, Madonna cavorted and taunted her way through a high-kicking version of “Hanky Panky” and an all-new/ all-jazzy downtempo take on “Deeper And Deeper.” The result was both my FAVORITE part of the show and also the point at which most non-die-harders took a break to get a beer! What a shame!

The tango-infused “Die Another Day” followed, and after her intricate legwork and adagio with her partners was complete, you could tell that Madonna was certainly tired and out of breath. Perfect then, that her next song, the completely “where-did-this-come-from?” surprise “Lament” (from EVITA), was sung from the much-talked about “electrical chair.” The song showcased Madonna’s most beautiful vocal work of the night, even though the song’s inclusion in the grand scheme of things just does not really make much sense. I guess she was trying to include a little something for everyone – and at least one track from every one of her albums.

Bijou‘s review continues here.