Number Ones…

It seems all the rage these days for aging popstars to prove their commercial dominance by putting out a ‘Number Ones‘ compilation showing just how amazing their chart history has been. Mariah jumped the gun with her #1s album back in the late 1990s to display her admittedly amazing US chart record. Sadly, all that seemed to prove is that, whilst virtually all of her releases in the US up until that point had hit the top spot, certainly enough for an album’s worth, for the rest of the world she would struggle to fill a two-track single with number ones! Ooops.

In what could be viewed as a cynical public relations rescue-job, Michael Jackson also tried. Sadly his Number Ones album had to rely on songs which made No.1 in Latvia to actually fill the album, even though he technically had had enough genuine different no.1s from the UK and US to fill a respectable 16-track album. Strange decisions there!

Elvis and the Beatles have fittingly led the way, showing the rest how to do it properly. Each had enough singles which Hit No.1 in the UK and US ONLY to fill a full album, the Beatles managing 27 (although technically using one which didn’t hit No.1 in either territory yet missing off one which did , odd!), and of course Elvis’ staggering total 30 (with another five left over for a second volume!). But then, as they say, before anyone did anything, Elvis did everything. Fair play to the cheeseburger king. So, what of Madonna? Well, she’s not the most successful female artist in chart history for nothing you know.

Were she to release a ‘Number Ones‘ album using the Beatles and Elvis rules she could put out a very respectable 19 track compilation as follows :

– Like A Virgin
– Crazy For You
– Into The Groove
– Live To Tell
– Papa Don’t Preach
– True Blue
– Open Your Heart
– La Isla Bonita
– Who’s That Girl
– Like A Prayer
– Vogue
– Justify My Love
– This Used To Be My Playground
– Take A Bow
– Frozen
– American Pie
– Music
– Hung Up
– Sorry

…however, were she to choose to emulate The King‘s 30-track bonanza, she wouldn’t need to reach to obscure tiny markets a la Jacko, no – all she need do is make her tracklisting a collection of her singles which hit the top in four countries – the US, the UK, Canada and Japan. Hardly insignificant territories, I think you’d agree.

So ladies and gentlemen, I give you – Madonna – Number Ones:

– Like A Virgin
– Material Girl
– Crazy For You
– Into The Groove
– Live To Tell
– Papa Don’t Preach
– True Blue
– Open Your Heart
– La Isla Bonita
– Who’s That Girl
– Causing A Commotion
– Like A Prayer
– Vogue
– Justify My Love
– This Used to Be My Playground
– Deeper And Deeper
– Rain
– I’ll Remember
– Secret
– Take A Bow
– You’ll See
– Don’t Cry For Me Argentina
– Frozen
– American Pie
– Music
– Don’t Tell Me
– Die Another Day
– American Life
– Hung Up
– Sorry

…as a bonus 31st track she could even include her one released duet – Me Against The Music with Britney Spears which hit No.1 in Japan! Now, how’s that for a world-beating tracklisting?!